Child Of God
by Rue Ryuuzaki
Summary: Kira was still controlling him, even after death. God, L was losing it. No, he was losing everything…everything except that little boy with his daddy’s face. Not Mpreg. LxRaitoxL and implied RaitoxMisa. AU


**Title**: Child Of God  
**Chapter:** One Shot  
**Author:** Rue  
**Rating:** M  
**Pairings:** L/Raito or Raito/L (mostly one-sided) and MisaxRaito (sex implied, mostly one-sided)

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by the creator of Death Note. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**Warnings:** AU, Yaoi, Character Death and Angst.

**Summary:** Kira was still controlling him, even after death. God, L was losing it. No, he was losing everything…everything except that little boy with his daddy's face. Not Mpreg. LxRaitoxL and implied RaitoxMisa. AU

Thank you for this story idea, IndependentDeath. I loved writing it.

* * *

--

_Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.-_Elizabeth Stone

--

****

Kaito Yagami, Age: Two Months, One Week, Nine Days

--

He had always though that it must have been some kind of sick joke on Raito's part that he'd made L godfather of his child.

L hadn't even known about it until after Raito was dead. L really hadn't had anything to do with said death, except that he'd caught Raito and was going to send him jail for life. Apparently Raito's Shinigami wasn't happy with that plan, and Raito had died before the handcuffs had ever been locked in place. Soichiro had died of a heart attack, most likely from the stress rather than the Death Note, the day after.

Sachiko and Sayu were never informed of the baby's existence. Perhaps that was cruel of L, but he figured they had enough on their plate already, with the death of Soichiro and Raito. Kira's lovechild might be too much of a burden…or maybe L was just that selfish.

L hadn't wanted Raito to die. He was going to settle for life in prison, allow him to see his son every once and a while, at least through a computer screen, maybe even visit him via computer. He hadn't wanted him to die, hadn't known about the deal between the Shinigami and the Death Note owner…maybe if he had, he would have…

…what? No, things would have gone the same way. He would have arrested Raito just the same, he would have brought him to justice anyway.

But L really wished Raito didn't have to die. Part of him hated the very way he had died, a heart attack, the same way as his victims…as though he were as low as they were. On the other hand, he was a criminal as well, so wasn't it fitting? For Raito, Kira, a presumed God, to die the same way as his lowly human counterparts?

No. It was true, Raito was a criminal, but he was on a different level than the rest of them. Whether that level was higher for his morals or lower for his megalomania, L wasn't sure.

He just knew Raito was different.

Raito had always been different. Just in he sheer ability to affect L, to control him, to manipulate and bend him to his will. Everything was so perfectly planned out, so wonderfully played that sometimes even the three greatest detective's in the world had a hard time seeing through the plastic façade.

L winced when he heard movement from the crib next to him and looked away from the computer to hesitantly peer at the wooden cage in which the baby was sleeping.

A baby.

Now that, for sure, was a joke. Raito couldn't have wanted to be a father, he really didn't seem like the parenting type -but then, perhaps that had been part of the mask as well. L would never really know, would he? He would never know if Raito would have made a good father, because the young man had only taken care of the infant for a few days before his passing.

Misa had died in childbirth. L had thought that was rather strange, since she was in good health, and young, but then he learned that Misa had cut her life in fourths, and that made more sense. Honestly, L didn't know how Raito could have stomached having sex with her, even to achieve whatever end he might have been planning. God only knew how much the girl got on Raito's nerves.

L could only guess that it was to appease Misa, and perhaps create an heir to the Kira throne.

That was a crown, however, that would never be passed down. L had made sure of that the day he'd arrested Raito. After Misa had died, Rem had no more reason to go along with Raito's plans, and had given him up. It had only taken a month was only a matter of weeks until L had set up a situation in which Raito had to confess, to try to worm his way out of capture.

To be honest, L had hoped the entire time that he was wrong. That Raito's name would be in that fake notebook that Raito's new sycophant (Mikami Teru) was writing in. But no, it hadn't been so. Raito had only recruited Teru after Misa's death, needing another person with the eyes -but that had ultimately been his downfall.

God, L really hadn't wanted him to die.

He remembered the night Misa had died, the night Raito had come to him with the baby, the night when…when things had went wrong. Or changed. Or something. It was all rather confusing, really. L wasn't even sure, in the end, who'd initiated the kiss or who had lain on top of the other but…

…somehow, they'd ended up joined together, kissing, touching, entering, thrusting, gasping, moaning, sweating, sliding, clutching. One of them had screamed. L wasn't sure who. Just everything. It had started with Raito stumbling in, slightly less coordinated than usual, with a bundle of human in his arms. He told L that it was Misa's, that Misa was dead, and he'd looked so damn distraught -

But, then, that was probably an act too, wasn't it?

--

****

Kaito Yagami, Age: One Year, Three Weeks, Four Days

--

Watari said that, even though the baby's starting to eat more than milk, a pure ice cream and pudding diet just isn't healthy for someone that young.

L really didn't understand that at first. After all, he was healthy enough only eating sugary things, why shouldn't Kaito be too? But he looked it up on the internet (he'd had one too many lectures from Watari about his detestable parenting abilities) and found that Kaito was still growing and needed good food like meat and veggies.

All mashed up in a tiny little baby jar. Veggies taste bad enough whole, so he pitied Kaito's plight.

L thought that would make a good form of torture for his suspects. Ugh. Yeah, he'd keep that tucked away for a really, really bad criminal. Kaito didn't like them either, and instead preferred the treats L sneaked him behind Watari's back.

But Kaito saw L eating sweets all the time, and therefore wanted them too, so L realized that he must also eat better as well if he expected Kaito to do so. So he weaned himself onto regular food for the sake of Kaito's health, even if he still indulged in sweets when the baby was sleeping.

L often wondered, if Raito was looking down on them -from wherever it was -, he would be aghast by the fact that his little boy liked sweets as much as L.

Oh well. Kaito liked apples just as much, so L guesses that they were even.

Kaito's first word was 'Dada' and L didn't know where the hell he heard it from.

--

****

Kaito Yagami, Age: Three Years, Five Months, Six Days

--

Terrible threes are called 'terrible' for a reason. Kaito is just as smart as his daddy, and terrible, genius three-year-olds are much worse than terrible, average three-year-olds. Not only was he hyper active, he was a manipulative little thing, who had figured out that he could get just about anything by blinking his wide pretty brown eyes at someone.

God, he was so much like Raito.

He was speaking in full sentences now, and probably had a better vocabulary than most ten-year-olds. He had come into his looks a bit, and L had found that he looked very much like his father, except for the hair and the eyes. They eyes were shaped the same, a narrow almond, but the color was a golden brown, much like his mothers and not the chocolate that was Kira's.

L knew, he remembered them flaring brilliantly in the midst of ecstasy.

Kaito's hair was a strawberry blond, a bit redder and darker than Misa's. It was cut a bit different than Raito's, for only the reason that L couldn't stand more similarity, but the consistency had a fairness and silkiness that was Kira's that L couldn't get rid of.

L knew, he remembered grasping onto it as he kissed him.

But the smile is the same, the lips, the nose, and God, the mind. And he's terrible, just like his father, but oh so very sweet in his innocence. Almost like the Raito without the memories, the fierce, strong boy that L admired and not the cold murderer that L had brought to justice. L had to cut his cases in half to take care of Kaito, who demanded much more attention now.

He still worked as L, although his notoriety declined some, but he had to make sacrifices. Besides, his successors were picking up the slack back in England now that they're old enough, and he'd training Kaito to be L as well. He's a fair bit younger than the others but Kaito's different.

Just like Raito.

Every once and a while L heard a thud from Kaito's room (Watari convinced him to move into the tower in Japan permanently, saying that the child needed stability) and he'd jump from his chair and rush in. Kaito was always awake, sometimes frowning, sometimes smiling, and sometimes even giggling.

Kaito had taken to biting and sucking on his thumb, and Watari sighed whenever he saw the habit that the child obviously got from L. Something about 'monkey see monkey do'.

And… he really wasn't exactly like Raito at all.

But it made L feel better to think so, so he did.

****

--

****

Kaito Yagami, Age: Seven Years

--

On Kaito's seventh birthday, L's successors move in. Watari had been trying to convince him that they should do so for the passed couple years. Claimed that Kaito needed people to interact with that weren't several decades older than him. L had argued that Mello, Matt and Near were all a great deal older than Kaito, somewhat wondering why he felt the need to keep the child to himself, but had eventually caved.

After all, it was about time the three of them were in close contact with him anyway.

Mello, Matt and Near were all informed of Kaito Yagami before they got on the plane, just in case any of them were adverse to working with and around Kira's son. Matt hadn't cared, Mello had been outraged but wanted to beat Near too much to let it get in the way of his goal, and Near had simply taken it as the reason L had been getting so lax on his cases over the past few years.

None of them had changed much since L had seen them last, before Raito had died. They were taller, older, perhaps a bit more mature (if one dug really, really deep) but they were still the same boys that L had chosen for his successors.

On Kaito's birthday, very early in the morning, they had entered the building and the room. Kaito had looked up from the book he was reading on Ted Bundy and up at the three boys in the doorway.

One was white, almost completely, from his skin and hair to his silky pajamas, and even -it looked like -his personality. It was flat, colorless, almost a clean slate, a blank piece of paper to be used to convey information at a whim. The second was wearing goggles, for a reason that Kaito didn't seem to be able to fathom. He had bright red hair and wore clothes that suggested violence, from his combat boot to his fingerless gloves, but his demeanor was anything but aggressive. He looked cool, calm, apathetic.

The third was a blond boy, taller than the other two by just a bit -or maybe that was just that his boots were a bit taller than the redheads. His clothing was black and tight, almost provocative in contrast to the pretty rosary hanging around his slim neck. He had a chocolate bar in his hand, and L saw Kaito's eyes draw to it. The kid really loved his chocolate.

"So you're the devil spawn I've heard so much about," Mello asked, bending down and poking Kaito in the tummy. Kaito wasn't informed of who his real dad was.

Kaito had frowned and poked Mello in the stomach right back. "So, you're the drag queen I've heard so much about."

Matt burst out laughing and L smirked around his thumb.

L probably thought too much about the 'devil spawn' comment. Even after Mello had given Kaito a piece of his chocolate, Matt had played a videogame with his and Near had allowed him to help solve his puzzle -still, L considered it. Was that really true? Was Raito the devil?

It made a lot of sense, but at the same time, seemed very contradictory.

Kira was suppose to be God, at least to some people.

What did that make Kaito?

--

****

Kaito Yagami, Age: Ten Years, Three Months, Two Weeks

--

At ten, Kaito solved his first case. He had been trained by the best, after all, and for three years he'd been in the company of three Whammy-trained adults, his godfather was L, and he had genius Yagami Raito's genes. It was really only a matter of time.

Mello often pointed out that he was different from the first time they'd met him, but L pushed it off as aging. He was in his mid-thirties now, after all. He slept more now because he was older and didn't have as much energy as before, not just because Kaito had taken to trying to keep up with him and would refuse to go to bed since 'Ryuu-san wasn't either'.

He still ate less sweets, now out of more habit than anything. Kaito still had the tendency to bite on his thumb when he was thinking, so L had found little reason to stop that, and he still sat in his usual, crouching way. Kaito had his fathers posture, which Watari often thanked the gods for.

"Ryuu-san," Kaito cocked his head to side and held up a picture of the victim's doctor, "She did it."

L blinked and looked up from the case he was currently working on. He'd only given the boy the files an hour ago, it was first case that he hadn't assigned Near, Matt or Mello to help him on. L took to picture and looked at the tall, thin, pretty blonde doctor.

"And?" L inquired, sending his dark eyes to hover on the child, who was grinning smugly. A cute haughtiness that only Kaito could pull off without seeming condescending.

"Means, motive and opportunity, I know," Kaito rolled his large eyes, "Opportunity, she said she had an alibi, she was with her kid that night, but her son Togi said he was playing video games at the time, for three hours straight. Matt, when you're really into a game, do you notice when people leave then room?"

"Hell no, kiddo."

"Thank you…and don't call me kiddo, you overgrown carrot!" Kaito glared at the redhead briefly from across the room and heard Mello snort before looking back at L, "Means…the man was found dismembered, right? His arms and legs cut off and stuff, right?"

"Correct," L nodded, and both him and Kaito simultaneously bit their thumbs.

"Well, she's a doctor, and the way he was cut up was waaay to neat to be just a butcher," Kaito explained tugging that the skin at the tip of his finger with his teeth, pointing out how professionally the limbs were removed. "And motive… she's preggers."

L blinked again. "…Preggers?"

"Yeah, it means pregnant. I saw a picture of her three months ago, and she looks fatter in the tummy area," Kaito told him, "The victim was married, he wouldn't want to take care of it. How much ya wanna bet it's his?"

"That isn't solid proof until you get the test results," Near pointed out, twirling his finger through his hair, not looking up from his own case file.

"Shut up, Near!" Kaito and Mello said at the same time, Kaito in a playful way, sticking out his tongue at the white-haired young man.

"Well, then we gotta get test results, but I would bet a hundred million yen I'm right!"

"You don't have a million yen," Mello pointed out, smirking at bit.

"Watari does!"

"You should not be in the habit of wasting Watari's money in such a fashion," L reprimanded lightly, and Kaito began to pout lightly, "However, I will have the tests done."

Kaito shrugged, and then beamed up at the oldest detective in the room, "Sooo…did I do good, or did I do good, Ryuu-san?"

L let his eyes drift to the ceiling for a moment before responding, "Kaito-chan did well."

"Well. Right," Kaito nodded, holding out his hands, "Next case, please!"

"I told Kaito-chan, one case a day at the most," L said, turning back to his computer, "I'll be taking a break in an hour, and then we will eat lunch. Until then, find something to play with."

"But my room is boring during the daytime," Kaito sighed, shoving his hands in his pocket. L's eyes narrowed and he turned with an open mouth to ask the boy what he meant by that, but Kaito was already running in the direction of his room.

What had Kaito meant by that?

--

****

Kaito Yagami, Age: Fifteen Years, Two Months, Three Weeks, Four Days

--

Fifteen years after Kira died, criminals began dying of heart attacks again. Teru Mikami had died in prison only a year after his incarceration, so it had to be an entirely new person. The Kira Cults that had remained underground and out of sight came out upon this, praising what they thought was the resurrection of their God.

L knew that Kaito had read about Kira, he was in just about every criminal, psychology and history book, but had never informed him that Kira was actually his father.

Kaito had grown into a fine young man, still nearly the spitting image of his father, just with lighter hair and eyes, and a less cruel personality. He used his looks and lying abilities to his advantage, but didn't abuse his power, utilizing it only when it was needed. He smiled much more than Raito ever did, and more genuinely, but not in the goofy way that Misa always had.

He was a gentlemen, polite, until he started sucking and biting on his thumb and talking in percentages. Watari once again had talked him into changing something, convincing him that it would be best, at the return of a Kira and therefore a Death Note, if they told Kaito about his father.

So, everyone was in the main room, more for moral support than anything, as L relayed to him that his father was Kira, the day after they started to actively pursue the new Kira.

Kaito had nodded and said, "I know."

Which, of course, was a shock to all of the people in the room, especially when Kaito informed them how he knew. Which was, quite simply 'He told me'.

"He visits me at night, sometimes, you see," Kaito explained easily, sitting down, "Apparently, he lives in the Shinigami real, 'except that he can come down here whenever he wants."

"Raito-kun is a Shinigami?" L's eyes narrowed, and he thought for a split second that that was the reason for the killings restarting, and if that was so, then they didn't stand a chance.

"No, no, I thought that too, for a while," Kaito ran a hand over his hair to make sure it was in place compulsively before he went on, "But no, he doesn't own a Death Note, and he doesn't look like them. He looks like a normal human, and he doesn't have wings. Can't do anything, really, except walk around. He can't even talk, really, but he wrote some stuff down for me."

Mello scoffed, "Of course, how fitting! Kira can't do anything but write."

L had to agree, it was very fitting. Raito passionately spoken words were, in a way, the way he got through to people, more than his writing the names of criminals. His articulate words laced with conviction were what drew people to him. Almost anyone would believe almost anything Raito said. And without his voice…he was nearly nothing. Nothingness.

Kaito frowned, "That's not all he can do…but anyways, he told me he was Kira, that his Shinigami names Ryuk killed him, and that he lives in Mu."

"I thought he lived in the Shinigami realm," Near said flatly, tugging at the knee of his pajamas lightly as he listened.

"He does," Kaito replied, "The Shinigami realm is in Mu. The Shinigami realm is where all things that were once living and are now dead go. He said there are at least four plains in Mu; Heaven, Hell, Limbo and the Shinigami Realm. It's true that everyone goes to Mu when they die…it's just a matter of where in Mu they go. And he didn't belong in the other three, so they put him with the Shinigami."

L recalled the many times he'd heard movement and come in to see no one there. It hadn't happened in a few years, but he supposed that was just because Kaito was getting older, and more careful.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"Well…He asked me not to," Kaito smiled in a mock-shy way that he often used to get out of trouble, "He wanted to see how long it took you to figure out. And I was curious too."

"How can you see him?" L asked, trying to wrap his mind around this new information, not caring for the moment that he had been lied to. He took after Raito…and him, for that matter.

"I really don't know," Kaito bit on his thumb, for a moment, and then sent a glare to the empty side of the room, before removing the digit from his mouth. "I've always been able to see…"

L looked where Kaito's gaze had flickered to and found nothing. Which…which could only mean…

"He's here," L said, keeping his eyes locked to the spot Kaito had looked as if he could actually see the dead man standing there. Suddenly quite a few things made sense that hadn't before, such as Kaito's first word being 'Dada' when L was quite sure he'd never said the word in front of him.

It had just been Raito, screwing with his mind.

The piece of paper in front of Kaito shifted and the pen next to it hovered in the air. L peered over at the paper, but he found no ink there.

"That's really rude, father, I'm not saying something that vulgar," Kaito said, frowning, there was a pause, and then he looked at L, "Fine, that I can say. He wrote 'It's about time you figured it out'."

L resisted the scowl that threatened to curl. Apparently only Kaito could see the writing, as well. Which, again, made sense in a strange way. Because Raito was not technically there, the ink that he was using shouldn't be either.

"This is some weird shit," Matt muttered, and Mello watched the empty spot where Raito was supposed to be, nodding at Matt's sentiment. Near just watched the area where Kira was supposed to be quietly.

"I apologize for not guessing that Kira was still haunting my godson after he died," L drawled monotonously, biting on his thumb.

"He says…" Kaito blinked and then narrowed his eyes at the paper, "He says he's sorry."

L's actions mimicked the Yagami that was currently alive. Then Kaito frowned deeply.

"…that he didn't succeed in killing you," Kaito sighed and crossed one leg over the other, closing his eyes briefly before reopening them and reading, "He says…Ryuu-san, do you want me to keep translating? Because I really don't have to."

"No, Kaito, please do," L said, black eyes piercing the invisible man. "I want to hear what he had to say."

"Okay…" Kaito nodded, "Well, he says that the only reason he put you down as my godfather was because he figured you'd be dead soon anyway."

"I figured as much," L replied easily, "Have death affected Raito-kun in such a way that makes him feel the need to explain perfectly obvious things?"

"He's sneering now."

"That sounds about right," L agreed.

"He says he's only sorry that you're too much of a cold hearted bastard to kill anyone," Kaito's eyes darted to Watari, who was standing silently beside Near, but the man made no effort to chastise his language, and flushed pink as he continued, "He says it was his plan was to make you…er - fall in love with him, because love is…a weakness…and he needed you to be weak to beat you."

Most of the people in the room were blushing now, except for L and Near. And perhaps Raito, but only Kaito could be the judge of that.

"I see," L nodded curtly. That…made sense, in a strange way. In Raito's twisted, self-righteous mind.

"He says that it didn't work because you're incapable of love," Kaito bit his lip, and continued reading, "He said he would have beaten you if it weren't for that."

L opened his mouth briefly to retort before closing it. He had expected as much, and if that distraught boy that had come to him for comfort was really Raito, then L had sore misjudged him. He obviously hadn't, however, since Raito words now were quite revealing. It only proved L's theory. He felt like responding, shooting an underhanded insult at the him, but closed his mouth.

He was talking to his dead suspect, friend, enemy and one time intercourse partner, through said man's son, who L had raised for the past fifteen years. L was losing it.

"Raito-kun should leave, he is a bad influence on Kaito," L spun around in his chair toward the computer screen . There was a moment of the soft sound of scribbling.

"He says 'Wouldn't you like to catch Kira?'" Kaito recited, blinking and looking up at his invisible father, "You can help?"

L's eyes narrowed again, but he just listened.

"I can see all Shinigami and beings from Mu?" Kaito's eyes widened briefly, "So Ryuk is the one who dropped the Death Note again?"

Ryuk. Wonderful. It had taken him fifteen years to get another Death Note to drop. That Shinigami was a menace to society.

"How do you know about Ryuk?" L asked Kaito.

"He came with my father to visit me once, and I could see him too, without touching his note," replied the boy, and looked at Mello, "Mello almost caught me…he saw a floating apple."

"I thought that was a dream," Mello groaned, running a hand through his yellow locks. Matt straightened his goggles beside him, merely watching the exchange through the blue tint in the thick lenses.

"If this is truly the original Kira," Near said scratching the spot beside his ear and twining a strand of hair through his short fingers, "Why would he help us catch the new one? They seem to have the same ideals."

Kaito waited for the response, and the pen wiggled through the air. L's eyes found their way back to the spot where Raito was supposed to be and could swear he felt the heat of the amber eyes connecting with his own, as though joined by an obscure electric wire.

"He says…That person…he's not Kira

," Kaito started, but no, it wasn't really the teenager saying that. It was Raito, L could nearly feel the breath on his nose, the smell of the shampoo Raito used, hear the voice of not Kaito -but his long since deceased father. "I am."

It was easy to interpret this into language L understood. He'd won their encounter fifteen years ago when he'd caught Raito, but now…he was losing. Losing a battle that had already been won.

L was really losing it. He was loosing himself. No, he was losing everything.

Everything except Kaito. Everything except that little boy with his daddy's face

--

****

Kaito Yagami, Age: Fifteen Years, Three Months, Two Days.

--

They had spent the next days looking for Kira nearly nonstop, using Kaito's gift to see who Ryuk was haunting. After that, the person's house and work were searched, and his Death Note was eventually found. He was sentenced to death, but would most likely be held in prison for quite a while before they actually got around to killing him. He hadn't been killing for nearly as long as the first Kira had, and therefore he hadn't murdered nearly as many.

Kaito was exhausted, even if he hated to show it. He insisted on finishing the paperwork with L even while Mello, Matt and Near retired to bed. He'd passed out on the couch a little over an hour ago.

Mello often told him that he'd changed, and every time, L denied such a thing on principle alone.

But it was true. He had changed. L had always been steadfast and unwavering; he was always right, so why change? But he was changing, constantly, into something that suspiciously like a father.

L lowered his eyes to the sleeping figure on the couch, watching as the moonlight highlighted the round face and shined off the yellow hair, dancing over long eyelashes and soft lips.

It was a strange thing. L had never wanted Raito to die, but he'd hadn't loved him. That had been Kira's plan, Raito had said, to make him love someone and be weakened by the emotion. But L hadn't fallen for it, or for him.

But…Kira had, in the end, succeeded.

L had changed, and for the first time, he did love someone.

--

_There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One is roots; the other, wings.-_Hodding Carter

--

Damn italics...they didn't want to show up, and I don't feel like redoing them all at the moment. I'll go over it later.

I purposely left out the seme/uke combo for your imagination. It really wasn't important. Also…I swear, I only picked the name Kaito because it was cute and common (something I thought Misa would pick) and I totally didn't notice that it was only a letter away from 'Raito' until I saw them next to each other. Yeah, I feel smart. O O I guess it's kind of a Kira/Raito mix. Oh well. I like the name, and I didn't mean to make it sound cliché or anything, but by the time I thought to change it, the kid was already Kaito in my mind.

Neh…I know the whole 'Raito is a Shinigami after death' thing is a little overdone, but I hope I introduced an original spin on it. I'm actually rather proud of my Mu. :)

Otou-san is father…and I wanted Ryuu-san to be reminiscent of that. Plus I thought 'Ryuu' without the honorary would be way too cutesy, even for Kaito and his adorableness.

Please tell me what you think of this story! Reviews are love.

--Rue


End file.
